What I Learned From A Mistress

“She’s a sweet girl…” my friend assured me.

“OK…” I walked next to her heading to this upscale restaurant/bar inside a wine shop last Saturday night to meet up with this new girl alongside my other friends.

Surely, I’m glad I’ve been ‘warned’ about this new girl.

“She’s a Mistress.”

If one word could freeze me cold is that word. Mistress…it even leaves a bad taste in my mouth trying to pronounce it. Subconsciously, I had a strong reaction against the word and for all women behind it. After dealing with infidelities, yes, I strongly dislike other women who are willing to play the role as “The Other Woman”. To me, these women are home-wreckers and I honestly have no respect for any of them.

I could’ve declined the girls night out invitation…but I went anyway.

We shook hands, she’s a beautiful very friendly woman. Very confident and easy going.

The wine quickly came flowing. We had our dinner. Nice chats. But I was careful in what I was saying, secretly felt glad that I didn’t sit next to her as I would feel a little awkward. Overall, she was a good host.

The night goes on…we moved to a different place.

After a few drinks, I began to relax and started to loosen up a bit and started to enjoy our girls night out. We laughed, we kicked back, we danced. We had fun.

The next day, I found out more details about her.

She’s also a single mom who was cheated on repeatedly by her dead-beat ex-husband. She have a great career. Came from a well-off family. Financially, she’s doing really well, she doesn’t need any money from her sorry ass-ex husband to support her and her child because he’s not paying anyway.

She fell in love with the wrong man. A married man with children.

As an outsider, it’s so easy for me to judge, to say “She’s so much better than this!” or “But she could’ve pick any man she wants to!”

But you can’t pick who you fall in love with…I guess…

And she has chosen that path although I’m sure growing up she would’ve never imagine she’d be where she is today.

Her story is actually a sad one. So sad really that I can’t help but feeling sorry for her. Her story is opening up my eyes.

It shifted the way I see the whole Mistress phenomenon…that maybe there are two kinds of them out there. The ones who truly fell in love and stays despite the fact that ‘their man’ can’t leave their real families to be with them fully and they’re content with having whatever arrangements that works for them. Then there’s one who became Mistress solely for financial reasons.

Seeing her, learning about her story alter my way of thinking for sure. She taught me that behind every label there is an individual with variety of different stories. I could’ve gone with my ‘morally correct’ belief and steer clear from befriending someone who is a Mistress. I was once in the opposite side of her story. I was once “The Wife” so I can totally relate to how the wife must’ve feel. But if I did that, I might missed on this important life lesson.

Never judge…
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The choices she made and took may go against my beliefs but it’s her rights. It is her life.

As hard as it sounds. Mind your own business.

She’s a nice girl and will I hang out with her again? Absolutely!

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